driver's seat

When Emotions are in the Driver’s Seat

Most people presume they are slaves to their circumstances and feelings.



Imagine how empowering it would feel to choose your emotions?  Most people presume they are slaves to their circumstances and feelings.  So when relationships aren’t connecting, and they feel frustrated or impatient, their emotions drive them straight to the land of hopelessness.  

During a miscommunication in a relationship, it’s emotions that have the potential to escalate and drive you to damage each other, say things you don’t mean, and then live with the aftermath of sorting out trust and safety with each other again.  The question that arises is this: How can I allow my emotions to be fully alive, but no longer dangerous? 

We have been given a beautiful gift of emotions. These are the heart and core of fully experiencing our moments, our hardships, our bliss, and our victories.  I love emotions! But in my “car of life,” I would prefer if they ride in the passenger seat, fully enjoying the view, experiencing the adventure, but not driving the car.  

You can decide to have a new quality of life, and you can decide not to repeat the same patterns. You can improve your relationships all by yourself, without even waiting for that other person to change, all by deciding that feelings will no longer have the power to lead your life. 


“The smartest question is: How can I harmonize my beliefs with how God feels and thinks?”


We have no control over the world around us, but we have complete jurisdiction over our responses and our level of peace.  Let’s explore some simple steps in loving life, loving our relationships and actually living without buttons and triggers:

  1.  Thank God for creating you with emotions.  Have a conversation with him about your favorite emotions and the ones that have gotten you in trouble.

  2. Invite God to live inside your heart, and actually “take the throne”.  In other words, surrender to His ways, His thoughts and His wisdom.  

  3. Establish what it feels like to know God as your source for absolutely everything you would ever need.  Write down these feelings. Allow yourself to experience God and how He feels about you.  

  4. Fall in love with wisdom.  Get to know God’s very heart, how He responds, how He shows mercy, and get comfortable with His presence. 

  5. Decide each morning that Wisdom is in the driver’s seat. If something starts to get out of whack, recognize that Emotions probably took the wheel.  Just gently tell them to get back in the passenger seat, because you are smart, you are loving and you are full of hope.  

You’ll keep getting more of what you’ve got unless you change your beliefs.  Believing that God loves you extravagantly, and it’s very very personal is the most important belief you will ever have.  The moment you decide to operate your life according to what God says and His truth, your emotions will change. He has had His eye on you from the very foundations of the earth, and He hears your cry, He answers your cry and He bestows His very best to you.  

Experiencing a miracle starts with us harmonizing with God’s mind. His ways and thoughts. When you’re experiencing a disappointment, that’s the most important time to find out how God is thinking.  Step into the peace of God’s reality. It’s not trying to get enough faith to strongarm God into fixing your problem, because He has already created every answer. The smartest question is: How can I harmonize my beliefs with how God feels and thinks? The potentialities are there!

Hear more about this topic on Episode 11 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.