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Recovery from Infidelity

Will I ever feel normal again?

BY DR. BOB MEISNER – MAY 28, 2019

 
 

The thought of standing at the crossroads of life isn’t anything new. But if you’re consumed by questioning the direction of your career, relationships, and overall life purpose—don’t worry. It’s actually more normal than not.

Simply put, a crisis is a period of intense soul searching and stress occurring in your thought life. The typical sufferer is highly driven and smart, but struggling because they feel they’ll never achieve their full potential or feeling they’re life dreams are no longer attainable.

I’ve experienced many who thought they could make a difference in this world, but they’re not experiencing that and feeling really unhappy. One of the biggest culprits is comparison—a common thought process of rating your progress against the lives, careers, and relationships of those around you.

 
 
 

The thought of standing at the crossroads of life isn’t anything new. But if you’re consumed by questioning the direction of your career, relationships, and overall life purpose—don’t worry. It’s actually more normal than not.

 
 
 

Personally, after experiencing the devastating reality of infidelity, the thought of ever being “normal” or “making a difference” was beyond comprehension. The facts of what happened screamed thoughts of defeat, brokenness, and despair. This was my crisis moment. The fear of the future that was attempting to steal away any hope of new possibilities.

The newfound pressures of the unknown can squeeze your thoughts into thinking you must make immediate decisions to control or protect yourself from any further loss. Fear will always seek to control.

What brought you to this crisis moment didn’t happen overnight and finding your path to wholeness won’t be lost in an instant. Allow Godly counsel to offer another set of eyes and ears thereby giving you time to make decisions from the place of peace. Running ahead and making decisions in haste can be detrimental and prolong your healing process.

The pressures of life do not mold you as much as they reveal the true beliefs of your heart. Looking to find all that is wrong with the people and circumstances surrounding you will only feed the victim within.

The hurt is real. The pain at times is unexplainable but refusing to allow it to define and limit your life is a responsibility you don’t want to surrender to thoughts of fear and worst case scenarios.

Every tree grows out from the root of which it was sprung. The largest, oldest oak in the forest still grows from that first shoot that gave it life. The same can be said of our life in Christ. Being deeply rooting into the soil of God’s marvelous love. Our lives can be a continual display of the endless possibilities of God’s power and grace. (Ephesians 3:14-21)

With God, I can live. With God, I can forgive. With God, I can put the needs of others before my own. With God, that which seems impossible becomes my reality (Matthew 19:26).

Below are a few practical steps you can begin daily to take in this season of your life.

  1. Choose Life

    • (Deuteronomy 30:15, 19) Our God is the God of all Hope (Romans 15:13). Allow yourself every day to proclaim with a loud voice, “I choose life!”

  2. Daily Experience God’s Love for You

    • (Romans 8:37) Notice it says, In all things we are more than conquerors through Him that loves us.”

    • (1 Peter 5:6-7) As you persuade your heart that God really cares about what you’re going through, then you can give Him all of your concerns and anxiousness and leave it there with Him.

  3. Choose Faith (1 John 5:4-5, 2 Corinthians 5:7)

    • In faith, we can see, believe and hope for what does not yet exist in the natural. Begin seeing the end from the beginning.

  4. Forgive

    • This isn’t condoning the behavior but rather refusing to hold the offense and pass the judgments of why?

    • Forgive, forgive, forgive and send the offense away.

  5. Turn up the Truth in your Life

    • There is power in praise. Praise concentrates and magnifies the possibilities found in God.

  6. Guard your Thought Life

    • Describe what you’re saying YES to no matter what others may do. “So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always.” (Philippians 4:8 TPT)

  7. Refuse to Quit  (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 TPT)


I Decree:

“God - the divine One, enthroned in the heavens - Has stood up for me.
He stirred up the situation
And imposed Himself upon the outcome
In order that justice would be accomplished for me.

As the original, eternal, good judge,
He determined the senate for those things set against me.

Stress, anxiety, illness, oppression, mental fatigue, exhaustion,
A lack of friends and compassion and understanding from others -

He has put it all to an end.
He has put an end to the immorality that surrounds me
And has clothed me in purity.

He has cut off the voices that speak lies to me and about me,
And has clothed me in truth and liberty.

He has taken the sickness that weakened and fatigued my soul and body
And has clothed me in strength and life.

Selah: I pause to be grateful.

God - the divine One, enthroned in the heavens -
Has stood up for me.”

(Inspired by the Psalms, Elizabeth A. Nixon, pg.71, 72 Charisma House)


Begin today by printing this article and taking the next steps of daily choosing life.

At lovemarriedlife.com you will find our on-demand courses and other resources including how to set a counseling appointment with Bob and Audrey or invite them to speak at your next event.