It’s none of your business

When you are weary and stressed, your relationships are usually the first to take the hit.

BY DRS. BOB & AUDREY MEISNER – AUGUST 28, 2019

 
 

“It tends to happen every time I start to feel anxious. I begin overthinking and then before I know it I get accused of getting into other people’s business”. If you are carrying the extra weight of anxiety and stress in your relationship, it can move you into a “control zone” without even realizing it. Even if your motive is pure, you can sabotage your closest relationships just because you feel responsible.  We have great news about how to reach new levels of freedom that result in carefree living. It starts with taking a “calming” rest from all of the cares and burdens that are actually none of our business!  

When you are weary and stressed, your relationships are usually the first to take the hit.  But how do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of “I need to fix this!” or “I just want to quit!”

We call like to call this, “The scenario of the Quitters and Controllers”. And we have all spent time in both camps!  It’s true that relationships and family dynamics are hard work, but as we all know, they result in the greatest reward. We all want the same thing: safety, laughter, peace and just plain ole “enjoying each other”.  

What are the reasons that being family, married, and having relationships seem hard? And, is it supposed to be hard?

When we care too much, you become attached to a certain outcome.

You invest so much thought and energy to make sure things go a certain way. And if they don’t, then you suffer on many levels. A relationship is an experience to be had and shared, but it is not there to make you feel good about life and yourself. Not to say that a relationship will likely do these things, but they can’t be your source! They can’t be some sort of a milestone, or sign that you have “made it”!

When you want something from the other person, you’re missing out on the relationship with them. It turns into agenda mode! When you’re not trying to get something, you will automatically not strategize, chase and force it to work. Instead, you will be able to enjoy the relationship and take it for what it is from one moment to the next.  

The best strategy is to focus on appreciating what you do have, rather than what you expected you wanted.  

The other important thing that we repeat over and over again (just because it seems to always be the answer) is knowing Jesus as your source of rest and peace. We love the scripture, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”  The weary and heavy-laden are “The Quitters and Controllers”.

Jesus invites us to lose control and learn from Him. There’s nothing more fulfilling than accomplishing a purpose and walking in love. Finding rest is not relinquishing your responsibility, but there is:

  • Rest from worry

  • Rest from anxiety

  • Rest from doubt

  • Rest from fears

  • Rest from disappointment

  • Rest from carrying guilt

  • Rest from carrying secrets

  • Rest from controlling the outcome

You are Invited to the Faith-Rest Life

There is still a full and complete rest waiting for believers to experience. As we enter into god’s faith-rest life we cease from our own works. Cease from taking on responsibilities that we were never meant to carry!  

Hebrews 4:9


Hear more about this topic on Episode 16 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.