Dreams, hopes, and anticipation can quickly turn into expectations, and expectations can turn into our greatest disappointments.
BY DRS. BOB AND AUDREY MEISNER – JULY 2, 2019
Dreams, hopes, and anticipation can quickly turn into expectations, and expectations can turn into our greatest disappointments. One of the most positive, powerful and transforming skills you can develop for relationships, is how to navigate a disappointment quickly to bring resolve, understanding, and connection.
We are personally passionate about navigating disappointment because we can pinpoint the turning point of our own marriage relationship 35 years ago when a misunderstanding turned into a cycle of avoiding, performing and resisting each other. Unfortunately, we had no idea how to navigate, so we each developed survival skills that blocked our true connection, forcing us to settle for sub-standard honesty between us. Our thought was, we have to avoid extreme transparency, because it’s in those conversations that we hurt each other’s feelings. We are better off to simply avoid and hide. These were not conscious decisions, but rather our reactions to feeling hurt leading to unresolved conflict.
Disappointments are that painful gap between reality and expectation. They hit hard because you feel misunderstood, unheard and left alone. Every deep relationship experiences moments and oftentimes seasons of unmet expectations and hurt feelings. If left unattended, these unresolved hurts and offenses are the catalyst for destructive cycles and possibly an eventual crisis.
“Disappointments are that painful gap between reality and expectation. They hit hard because you feel misunderstood, unheard and left alone.”
Your personal disappointments provide valuable information about where you believe your source is. If you have hoped that your spouse or children or parents are your source of anything...
You will unknowingly set yourself up for relationship difficulty and tension.
Even though your spouse may be your #1 contributor for being a true friend in this lifetime, only God has the ability to be with you at all times, knowing your deepest desires and filling your love tank without failing.
Even though your children may be your #1 contributors for your identity as a mother, or father, giving you life purpose and wonderful memories, only God has the power to tell you who you really are, and lead you as you fulfill your purpose in this world.
Even though your friends may encourage you, appreciate you and provide good times, they will never fill you completely and will never be your source.
Just this simple concept can change everything for you when it comes to disappointment! Instead of being frustrated and powerless when you were hoping for more, you can rely on the One who loves you the most.
Hear more about this topic on Episode 8 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.